The more I use the tools of reframing the freer I feel.
Let me explain.
We are the sum total of our thoughts, feelings, actions, dreams, challenges, memories, beliefs, judgments, childhood, ancestral heritage and so on. If you really think about it every second of your existence has left some imprint on you. After all we are conscious, living, breathing beings. We like to think we have freedom to choose our destiny, well I do.
So both these things are true. We have been imprinted upon and we have free choice.
Here is where you get to leverage your choice and release some of that imprinting. Because we all know some of it is no longer necessary, we have out grown it or we recognize that it was someones else’s viewpoint dumped on us. All of it has been valuable, every single second. (We will explore this in another blog.) For now let’s look at how to enhance our free choice around these imprints.
Many times in my life I have found when something starts to irritate me, it often can indicate that my perception needs a makeover. Especially thoughts, beliefs and judgments. This is where I use the tool of Reframing. The best way I know when I need to look at reframing a thought/belief is when I ‘feel’ off. Where my deepest values do not match what I say or do.
Recently, I was caught up in the whole gun debate and atrocities caused by guns that have been happening in the USA. I was posting anti gun posts left right and center.
Then I came across a quote by Mother Teresa. She said, “I was once asked why I don’t participate in anti-war demonstrations. I said that I will never do that, but as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I’ll be there.” I saw clearly, my posting about these on Facebook was me participating in anti gun demonstrations, and I AM PRO PEACE, pro safety for children and pro love.
This was a REFRAME, your awareness meets your values and the next logical step is to take action on it. So I can with a full heart and consciousness post on peace. I am in a more powerful place to take action. Being against anything adds power to that very thing. Being for something adds more power.
It really is all about where you want to invest your love, attention and power. Your choice.
Reframing happens when you ‘catch’ the disconnect and you refrain in the moment your thoughts flag it to you. If you don’t catch it, you feelings will also alert you. The sooner you can be awakened to the disconnect the better.
I had numerous moments when I was a child that I did a reframe, before I knew that’s what it was.
My Mother really did not like the siren sound of Police, Ambulances or Fire Brigades, when she heard one she would get agitated. She would then say “What has some bloody idiot gone and done now?”
I remember being bewildered by this, I could have easily taken on this comment as my own, but I didn’t. I reframed it, I said to myself “That siren is because someone is needing help, and they will be receiving it quickly” Today, when I hear I siren, I still say this same thought in my mind.
I have also reframed something afterwards, years afterwards.
The best way I have found to do this is by moving your energy, in particularly dancing.
I have often heard it said, you can not solve a problem with the same mindset where the problem was created. This is where a solo dance part helps. Movement changes your energy. When YOU freely dance you can not keep thinking the same repetitive thoughts, it is a way to move them out of that worn out groove.
Solo Dance Party Reframe – To work with this, first write down one ‘thought’ that you know no longer fits you, your life or values, it is like an outdated model of yourself. Start with something small to begin. Look for statement you might be making to yourself (we all are making these statements often) like, I should, I always, I must, these will give you an indicator of fertile soil that longs for a fresh planting.
i.e. I should always make my bed every day. Write it down, don’t analyze, don’t berate yourself, don’t get into this in not important blah, blah, blah. Just write it down.
Now choose the best, best dance music that enlivens you. You are not on a dance floor, no-one is watching you. Be free, be funky, be expressive, really go for it. Dance the “I should always make my bed” dance. Dance for at least one song.
After you have danced come back to your paper, with your non dominant hand write what ever comes to mind in relationship to your first statement.
Here is what came up for me – When I come into my bedroom at night it feels inviting to peel back my freshly made bed.
My logic mind would have said, I should always make my bed because otherwise I am being a slob.
Start with something small, really try it. This empowers me more to know that, I have removed a ‘should’ and replaced it with what brings me joy or contentment.
I suggest a weekly solo dance party. Really.
Shift some of those thoughts that are way passed their expiration date.
Reframing is a powerful free healing practice.
Don’t take my word for it though, I share what I find has worked for me. In the past I have been a hard task master to myself, and I seek to find tools that work for my greatest benefit, mixed in with joy.
Happy Solo Dance Party.
Blessings, in wonder and joy Lulu
ps. The truth about self empowerment or self growth is that YOU really can empower YOUrself.
pss. Feel free to share any comments and victories